Change in Behaviors

Change in behaviors is usually observed as many people grow older. Staying active is one thing many doctors prescribe to their patients to help with motor and cognitive skills. Now that I'm a senior myself, I'm as active as I ever was. I don't let the aches and pains keep me in bed. Instead, they're the reason I get up every morning. Lying in bed and relying on medication to help with arthritis or other health issue isn't the answer. I totally understand how pain can make you want to stay in bed. But I have seen firsthand what this does to a person. 

First of all, staying in bed means you aren't in motion. So, mobility issues arise quickly from this. And when one is immobile, aches and pains will dominate that person's body. No amount of medication will help. Moving is the best way to ward off aches and pains from fibromyalgia, arthritis, and other discomforts.

So, when those main muscles stop functioning properly because of the lack of mobility, organ problems arise next - such as urine and fecal incontinence. When a person falls because of weak limbs, the next course of action for the body is incontinence. At first, it's because the person can't get to the restroom. Then these features become weaker over time. 

Hallucinations and difficulty differentiating between dreams and reality are also problems that arise when the circadian rhythm is out of sync. One of my seniors was sleeping most of the time and eventually started seeing things that weren't there. Such as, seeing rats in her house and assisted living apartment, seeing her mother (who has been dead for 20 years) in a room with dead people, thought she was in her former place of employment when she was at the nursing home, a daycare center full of loud children at the assisted living facility, just to name a few things that weren't real.

Memory issues often come from this circadian rhythm upset, or it may come with time, or it may be an inherited trait. Whatever the case may be, memory issues aren't about just forgetting. My seniors forgot recent things. One could remember, vividly, things that happened when he was younger. And he liked to talk about them every time I was with him. I never stopped him regardless of the number of times I had heard the stories. These were things he was able to remember so I let him talk about them as often as he liked. He just couldn't remember that he had told the stories to me only a few days before and a week before and a month before. 

Both of my seniors could remember family names. But sometimes there is more to remembering and not remembering when it comes to memory loss. Even if they know who you are, they may grow suspicious of you, become distrustful, accusatory, and insecure. With this, they may become bullies and even threaten your life. One of my seniors liked to throw things and hit when she wasn't getting her way. The other started carrying a gun on his hip after he thought I had stolen from him. He eventually found the items but he never trusted me again - even though he had misplaced the items. I pray this never happens to you, but if it does, you may have to pull away for your own safety and wellbeing. 

Lying is common as these aging problems multiply. For one of my seniors, lying was not only a way to get attention (such as she had made a decision that couldn't be reversed without lying), but lying was also a way to draw attention from her own actions - such as hitting people. My advice is to not fuss at people that your senior "tattles" on right away, because a lie or a hallucination may be the main culprit. I would discuss the tale with the person it was told on and get their side of the story so we could come to an understanding about my senior. The nurses at the nursing home facility had to go into her room in pairs so they could have a witness because of the tales she would tell on them.

Finally, the things that used to interest seniors no longer do. Shopping, hobbies, walks, music, reading all fall to the wayside for some reason. When a senior refuses to - or can't - do anything but sleep, they become disconnected from everything. So, if you have gentle ways to persuade your senior to stay interested in the things they love and to stay mobile, they will stay healthier longer. I'm not saying this will last forever, just longer.

For instance, when my senior stopped being able to walk well, we bought her a wheelchair so we could take her shopping (her favorite hobby), out to eat, and to doctor's visits. This kept her out of bed and also in social settings more frequently as well. When she started wanting to stay home more often, we bought her jigsaw puzzles and paint by number kits. Seniors still want to be in charge of their lives and will make decisions based on what they do and do not want to do. Your efforts will help the senior as long as they're willing to accept the help. Eventually, though, when pain becomes overwhelming, they'll give into it. Unfortunately, that is the cycle of life. 

It's important that you don't become mad at yourself when your help is no longer accepted by the senior(s) in your life. And don't be mad at them if they push you away. Aging is more difficult for some than it is for others, and that's a fact of life.

#bully
#hallucinating
#reality
#mobility
#incontinence

Take care and God bless.

Image courtesy of Kelly Sikkema via Unsplash