Time to find a senior care facility?
If the time is drawing near for you or the senior in your life to start thinking about living in a nursing home, assisted living, or memory care center, start calling these facilities in your area or the area where you or that senior will want to live.
The location will be based upon who will be the primary caregiver/visitor once the senior is living in their new home. Just as important as location, the staff at the facility you choose should be caring and there should be plenty of activities for your loved one to get involved in. And how much work is going to be involved in moving you or your loved one? You will want to prepare for this so you can get them moved in as quickly and smoothly as possible, else you will be running your legs off to bring something to them every day. The idea of this move is to help them have a better quality of life and not reduce your quality of life at the same time.
A few tips for finding the right facility for your senior
Below is more helpful information that will be necessary to find out during your phone call or tour.
- You will want to, first of all, get prices.
- Are there options for shared room vs. private room or apartment?
- What is the price if the spouse needs to move in later? Is there a discount if the spouse wants a separate room?
- If the senior has a pet, are pets allowed and what is the fee for that? Are the pets taken care of as well by the facility - such as bathing dogs, scooping the cat's litter box, cleaning their bowls, taking them to vet's visits, etc.? If not, your senior should probably re-home the pet with someone who can take care of it. If they need help themselves, taking care of a pet isn't going to be easy either.
- What is included in the monthly room rent? Meals (assistance provided to the dining room or bring to room), fridge, microwave, housecleaning and bed changes (how often?), bathing (how often?), laundry (how often?), transportation to doctor's visits (what days and how do you schedule those?), dressing assistance, grooming assistance, cable, TV, landline phone service (if desired), wi-fi provided?
- What are the other numbers to people you may need to talk to at the facility once the senior moves in such as the facility director, head nurse, physical therapist, activities director, etc.?
- What types of activities are available to the seniors?
- What is the average response time from the time your senior pushes their call button to the time they receive help?
- What are the safety measures in the facility to assure that your senior can't roam freely - and perhaps get lost - or be removed by someone you don't want to remove them?
- Can the senior put their personal touch in/around their new home? Such as a sign on their door so that if they do visit another resident or go to the laundry to wash their clothes, they can easily find their room or apartment when they see the sign - or other decoration - they have selected to use.
- If the facility is to do all of their laundry, do you need to mark the clothing a special way?
- Are any preliminary tests required? Such as a TB test, Covid test, standing and sitting test, etc.
- Is there a waiting list and is there a fee to be put on that waiting list? Is that refundable if you change your mind about going to their facility?
- Cleanliness/Odors
- Friendliness of staff
- Moods of the residents: do they seem happy, unhappy, frustrated, frightened, having fun, etc.
- What are the nurses'/caregivers' speaking tones as you hear them talking to the residents in their rooms (they won't see you coming down the hall and can't adjust their tones as you walk by); I do love the element of surprise as you can find out so much this way
- Always listen to both sides of the story; don't just take the senior's word that someone mistreated them; my seniors happen to fabricate stories, hallucinate, and have a difficult time differentiating between dreams, TV show storylines, and reality
Choices
I called both assisted living facilities and nursing homes. I thought a nursing home assisted living might be a good idea since the senior would already be placed and once the retirement funds were extinguished, the senior could transition to Medicaid and not have to move again. Bed, cable, and landline phone services are all provided. All assistance was provided. Small furniture as well as a mini fridge and microwave can be brought in if the senior wants. Personal drinks and refrigerated meals will have to be supplied by the senior, of course. It turns out that nursing homes cost about $1,000 - $2,000 more per month for a private room (about 300 square feet) than an assisted living apartment (about 400 square feet and larger), so the senior will go through their funds faster at a nursing home.
At an assisted living facility only, an apartment can be acquired for less, but the senior has to take all of their furniture and has to supply their own toilet paper, soap, towels, wash cloths, shower curtain, shower bench, etc. There is a separate fee from the apartment/room rent for their care such as grooming, bathing, and room service. But the combined expenses are still less expensive than the nursing homes I called. My senior chose this route to "save" money for now.
Another move may still become imminent if the senior runs out of funds or gets too sick for the assisted living facility to take care of them. Some of the facilities supplied landline and cable. Others did not. Some had a kitchenette with a full-size fridge, some a simple mini fridge. Others did not. So, not all assisted living facilities are created equal.
The one we selected had all of the amenities we were looking for (kitchenette with fridge, microwave, cabinets, sink, living room, bedroom, and bathroom with a walk-in shower, meals, housecleaning, assistance with showers, grooming, dressing, medication) and were the least expensive facility on the list at $5,500 a month. The staff was friendly. The residents were always friendly and had an upbeat demeanor about them. I made a few surprise visits before my senior moved in. Everyone was still friendly and had an upbeat demeanor. They even provided the name of a local mover who was affordable, and they were just as friendly and respectful as the people at the assisted living facility.
For the record, I also called about in-home care for my seniors, and 24-hour care would have been over $19,000 a month at $26.50 an hour - the least expensive place I could find. The ones I talked to were willing to meet at the senior's home to discuss options.
Last bit of advice
I have orchestrated this type of move twice, and both times, my senior wasn't as ready as they thought they were. I did have to run my legs off every time I went to visit 3-5 times a week. And this senior would get upset if I had to stay home to conduct my personal life/business the rest of the week I wasn't running for them. The other related senior would get jealous if we weren't giving them some attention. In short, assisted living/nursing home turned out to be a nightmare for my family and me. So, be sure your senior is really ready to avoid frustrations for all involved. If the senior you're trying to help is always grumpy or swims in self-pity, the most heavenly place on earth will not change that, and they will still be unhappy. They can be unhappy living in their own home with a much cheaper price tag for all of you.
If it boils down to this, perhaps in-home care a few hours a week might be the best solution. Someone can come in 3 or 4 days a week to help with bathing, doctor's appointments, groceries, meal prep, light housework, medicine reminders, etc. for a fraction of what 24-hour care costs. Keep in mind that these people are caregivers only, so they will not be lifting your senior out of the floor if they fall or handing them their medication. They may also require you or the senior to buy medical devices such as lifts, shower transfer seats, wheelchair, and hospital beds to help them assist the senior and to avoid injury to themselves and the senior.
I hope this helps and doesn't have your head spinning. Breathe, pray, make the phone calls, schedule tours, and take notes. It will all come together. Whatever you do, don't delay if there are telltale signs that you or the senior in your life is going to need assistance sooner than later. Even if prices change before the shift to assistance happens, you'll already have the other information you'll need to make decisions based on the senior's needs.
Take care and God bless you,
Patricia
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